Heart Break Letter... ( my past life )

Now , ... I'm missing you . I'm missing you like never before. May be I won't be there to miss you anymore. I'll make sure that you never get to read this letter. But, when I really wanted you close by , you chose to walk away . Dreams turn into nightmares in no time. But if you walk backwards , if u try to go back , your dream turns into reality and I can't make this nightmare , reality , my reality.


You're , still , very much a part of my life . But Today something happened. I felt you were there with me .I wanted to cry a lot , But Couldn't . I wanted to talk, but nobody was there when I wanted them the most.
Am I that bad , dear ? Then why is everybody leaving me ?


So .... sorry for not entertaining you with a poem today, dear ....
My Rhyme is lost today ....... I'm the most "out of tune" instrument today .....
This poet knows when to accept defeat ... time defeated me ...so did my memories .....

be happy ....... stay safe ...... forget me (not) ......

Good night


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A failed attempt to sleep ( or to die ? )
****************

i dunno wat I'm writing or why the heck am i writing ....dunno nothing but this fact that I'm defeated .....

i'm defeated cuz i won evrything .......

well ..anyways this is not abt me ....its abt you ..its always abt you ..

i dreamt too much ... mu fault .....

you .. on the other hand wer always right from da very beginning ...

wat names i called you !
sheesh !

"my goddess"

i blivd my own "beauty and the beast " story will have a "happily ever after" ending .......

but yaar ..
beast must die ..........

so i'll die .......

thank you for ur tym ............

i have nothing against you .........

you're beautiful ... its not ur fault .....

its MY fault ...dat i'm not ..........



ride away .................


I'm a will-o'-wisp ................


false hope .......
a dreamer ..dats wat i am .

multicoloured hues ........


i said "You Made Me" a lover ............
NOW do ya understand y was i so damnd reluctant ?

yes i did turst you ...... (trust u know ??? ...i'll sleep over you ) ...... but i dint trust my luck .............
dats da only thing dat i cant control .......


but alas !
dats all past ..............

nd unfortunately I remain with them ...in past ...........


i'm done ...
this tym ... for good .........

you ...dear ....sleep well ........ this mad hatter's gotta go ..nd he most certainly will go .................

Sleep ... Fly ... Sleep

Sleep..
Like a lullaby sleeps
And rest..
On my mother's lips

Fly..
Through the dreamy sky
And settle
On the baby's eyes

Sleep..
Like a dew drop ,new
On..
A flower of honeydew

Fly..
With Wishes on wings
Stars..
With drowsy winks

Sleep..
End of days, you sleep
And dream..
Of lullaby from the mother's lips

Your Broken Halo ...

I forgot my gift
I forgot my rhyme
I never believed
This healer called time


I knew my job
I knew my thing , clear
I knew it will pain
Still, held her dear


Now I stand dead
My dead heart still beating
thoughts in my head
My world is befitting

Your broken halo ........

What Was "Unheard"...

She wanted time
I gave her 
Whatever
Little that is left

She wanted answers
I gave her
Whatever
Little brittle words that are left

......

She was afraid
With her fear oozing "care"
From everything she said !
I felt her , so near...

She was not sure
She wanted me close
I wanted her, warm
I wanted my rose

......

She wanted me
though she never said
But I could see
That she was afraid...

So I said ....
So I said ....

What was "Unheard"

Wishes On Wings

I'm " Wishes On Wings "...
I'm a shooting star ...


Like the one you wished upon last night !
A moment caught in flashing light


A shooting star's tale ??
my life is a spirit ....
Along my blazing trail
The wishes I lit
My story , they tell


My lover ..... the moon ,
The room of many colours .....
Lit with the liquid rays of her tune
Tryst goes on forever ...


My life .. is a poem ...
And poems .... are MAGIC !
My life is short
And its tragic ,
That I'm a "falling" star !!


Your wishes are granted
When you wish upon me
'Cause the "death wish" I planted
As i fall , free ...


My spirit gives your dreams
These rainbow coloured wings
As I close my eyes and die
Amidst the starry sky...


Only star dust remains.....

I'm up tonight.... can't even sleep

I'm up tonight.... can't even sleep
The Pain's too big for me...
May be you are..... you are in deep
Pain.... or in sleep may be

You want me to forget
Everything you said
You want me to start anew
But, tell me how
Can I ever forget
My life, my laugh and you?

My blood, still red, although thicker..., rushing to and fro
This lost little heart is scared to death not knowing where to go
Each droplet of blood, screaming like hell
Ringing your name in my veins like a bell
They don’t want to let you go...

I'm up tonight.... can't even sleep
The Pain is nibbling inside
May be you are..... you are asleep
Or your eyes are open.....wide ?

You want me to forget
Everything you said
And move along with the tide
You want me to break... break the promise
That I won’t leave your side...

My blood, still red, although thicker, flowing now slow
My grief, my pain makes me weaker, and my tears glow
Each tear drop now, your name they spell
Writes my sorrow, as I failed
Why did you have to go?

The Dark Portrait ...

A golden frame bedazzling
A dark portrait stares
Couple eyes talking loud
From the dark layers!

Glint of pain and vacuum reside
A portal to the other side
A Black Hole to world of non-existent
Where Time's the only known constant

A parallel universe you may think
And You'll miss it if you blink
those two eyes will take u far
across the universe ....distant star

Those two eyes .... i cannot sleep
they are nightmeres , i plunge deep
They're changing my life slow but sure
I'm becoming DEATH , dont know the cure

Walking through the portal to hell
I wont come back to tell the tale
Sapping my very life from me
Mystic eyes casting spell

After the shock and awe ...

Silence claws back....
Peace settles in .....
Although like a terrified hare
cautious eyes , moving here n there....


Trembling a bit , still not sure 
About surroundings , still endures
With a weak heart....

My Mysterious Death ...

In this hour of need
I, in search of a smiling face
In this world of greed
I, in search of subtle grace

In this world i find
My coffin closed 
Its sealed and signed
My life is razed
As I lag behind 
My mysterious death ...

Masked

Mask - a shield

That helps to hide

A face

 

 

Mask - an identity

That helps to fight

Disgrace

 

Mask - a tool

To let you be frank

Ruthless

 

Mask - anonymity

Freedom of speech

Faceless

 

Mask - units

Blurring lines of cast

And races

 

Mask - expressions

That we wear

Flawless

 

... ... ... ... ... ... ... ... ... ... ... ...

Dogged

Hi, all! 
I'm Mutt...I'm a pooch as you know. Like most road dogs... I lost my mom and dad ...I remember that day...There was some rally that you bipedal animals organized......
We were right there.....Watching with awe.... how you stupid beings marched on... without thinking twice about how to compile the things of day to day needs.... FOOD ....such stupid you all are ....then.....it all turned ugly ...some of your own kind attacked you ........I thought if only your kind had strong teeth... even without them , you all started beating and hitting each other .........how odd .. Isn’t it??This wasn’t for territory ...wasn’t for food.... Still you people fought ... and amidst all this.....I got separated ....I could still hear mom howling for me.....Then I don’t remember a thing ... A man fell over me ...he was knocked out ...... you know I'm a dog ... so I have a better perception about these things than most of your doctors ... I KNEW that the guy who fell over me was dead..... and the iron rod that he was holding ... it smashed against my head to I think I collapsed for a while ...... when I came around again ..... I saw.... a bloody image of the dead body ...... ooh... sorry that was my own blood blurring my sight......but how beastly you all are! This man was there on the road ... DEAD... And you all left him behind! Even if he committed something against your “community” (you people even have communities? ...doesn’t look like so!!) Still... you should have taken a look at least but there I was under the body and felt it was my only friend... after I lost my mom n dad... At least it didn’t use the iron rod it still held, to beat me up, as it would have done if it was alive! Anyways I tried to move out from under the dead man but couldn’t ... Then, hey!! I think I heard something... yeah!! ..... Someone’s coming... I yelled as loud as I could.... it was a boy ...running towards my direction... “Oh shit!” I thought... I never liked small kids previously ... they are cruel..... But this day was like no other..... That wretched boy took me out and to my utter amazement ... didn’t even hurt me..... Instead took me home....... I was suddenly feeling hopeful again, but I fainted again.... Too much blood dripped... you see... anyways... when I came around... I was in a shoe box ...there was some cloth tied around my head.... It felt a bit awkward but still ....at least I was safe. Instantly ... I got up and tried to leave the box.... but the boy took me in his arms and went to some other room ... there was a woman there. I figured she was his mother...... I felt like I would be kicked out again.... Actually I wanted to be kicked out because I had a job at hand... I had to find my parents... little did I know I would have to accept this family as my own. So, I was the treated like the other child of that home... I was cared like a baby and I grew up in an atmosphere of love and affection but knowing my luck ... I knew ... it wont last long, these happy times.... yes, turmoil again ....... that day the child was expecting his dad to come home ..... It was about a year after the riot that took my parents away. The child took me out to see why his dad was taking so much time to return home. We walked down the roads. Suddenly, like a storm, all hell broke loose and tension rose again....the riot was raging after a year of hibernation.... The scene was terrible... people were shouting... Someone fell over me again...this time... I knew who he was ... it was the boy.... my hopes... that was nourished for the last one year ... broke again......somehow, I escaped.... by now... I was more of a human... So, like human beings, I left him behind to die and ran for my own life.I had to ....... he gave me life ...but may be my life wasn’t that important ...... my parents were still out there.... THEY were important......... I fled the place ... and you know... in a way I honored the child's wishes... he wanted me to live that’s why he saved me that day... Anyways... life started all over again... The rain came ...whenever it seems like my life is settling down... rain unsettles all I’ve built so far............ I was hungry ... I went to a nearby shop ... and sneaked in... and stole a particle of loaf.... But you know you humans have so much of food but if I take something to kill my hunger ... I'm thief then..... I was shouted at ... A brick flew towards me... full of fear and anger and a bit of shame... I fled ... ran down the road ....suddenly, amidst the curtained rain ... a light punctured my blurry eyesight.... there was a sound.... a honk.... a thud.........................................................

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My parents ... the kid...... Aah ... I'm home ... at last!

The Room Of Many Colours ...

It was my room of colours . And she , the painter .
Unknowing , She created a dream with colours and made it my world ...
I was outside ... was alien to the room , yet it was ... my room .
She invited me waving through the window.. And me , like the eternal sun rays , sipped through the tainted glass window she arranged for me. My jovial rays , always trying to please her and to fulfill all her wishes. She baptized my simple white lights into brilliant hues of myriad colours ...It gave her a source to make her art alive , turning my white lights into one magnificent canvas filled with colours of emotions...
She painted my world with her brush strokes ...... she coloured me with my OWN crayons .... and i loved her for that .....


Then came night . My Sun rays were gone .... A candle , she lit ...
I was still outside the window with the tainted glass ... and now , HER crayons were colouring me....And I loved her for that .....